Thursday, January 22, 2009
Obama Team Reaches Out to Comedians
Late-night comics are mourning the passing of the Bush Administration, which for 8 long years was "the gift that never stopped giving". The Obama Administration today reached out to reassure writers for The Daily Show, Jay Leno and others that the new President doesn't take himself too seriously and doesn't need to be treated with kid gloves by comedians. To this end, the White House released a list of Obama characteristics that would lend themselves to jnightly monologues, and sample jokes featuring them:
1. His ears stick out: What is with Obama's ears? With those ears, he doesn't need a warrant to listen in on other people. Unlike the Bush Administration, however, the Obama administration would never flout the Constitution by tapping American's phone calls without going through the FISA courts.
2. His wife is beautiful: How sexy is Michele Obama? She is so sexy that if Bill Clinton had been married to her, Al Gore would just be finishing his second term in office.
3. People have overly high expectations of him: People sure are expecting a lot from our new President. It's almost as if they think he can single-handedly restore prosperity, solve the Middle East crises, reverse global warming and make Washington sports teams good again -- which of course is ridiculous. I mean, the Wizards, Nats and Redskins are pretty pathetic.
4. He looks funny in shorts: Did you see Obama playing golf in shorts in Hawaii? He was taking a week off between the campaign and the Inauguration. Whereas Bush decided to wait until he WAS President to begin taking time off.
5. He has adorable daughters. Sasha came running into the Oval Office the other day, very upset because she had spilled her drink on the floor. "Daddy, I feel so bad - I made a mess in the White House." "Don't worry honey" said Obama. "That's nothing compared to the guy who used to live here."