Thursday, November 12, 2009

Paln and Oprah Interview


Although the interview won't air until next Tuesday, details of Sarah Palin's interview have leaked to the press. Here is Part 1:

Oprah: Welcome, Governor Palin. I am so excited to have you on on my show.
Palin: Well, gosh, it is great to be with you. Just two strong, working women having a heart-to-heart talk.
Oprah: Yes, one of whom has been doing her job for 15 years without quitting.
Palin: And the other of whom has been a size 6 since college.
Oprah: But I hear you have been working, on a book, Going Rogue. Tell me about it.
Palin: Well, it's the story of a young woman from the American heartland who was following a traditional path -- marrying her high school sweetheart, having kids -- when one day she just got fed up with the Old Boy system in politics and the corruption and all, and she decided, gosh, maybe what politics needs is a little more of the common sense that small-town America seems to teach. Of course, the elites try to take her down a notch because she won't play by the Old Boy rules.
Oprah: So it's fiction?
Palin: No, the only fiction is all those lies the left-wing media make up about Todd and me.
Oprah: I might make it an Oprah Book Club. Make it a best seller.
Palin: Thanks Oprah, but it's been number 1 on Amazon since August.
Oprah: Well, you might reach a new audience. People who have actually read a book before.
Palin: And your readers might learns something about real Americans.
Oprah: Girl, you do NOT want to go there. But I am always looking for something inspirational. Does your book feature child soldiers who commit atrocities in Africa? That was last week's pick. Or maybe an obese girl from who has been raped by her father and is abused by her mother? I produced that movie, "Precious".
Palin: Goodness no. All I did with my dad was learn to hunt and fish.
Oprah: Hunting animals? Oh, that sounds so depressing! So what books are you reading?
Palin: Oh, you know.... All of them.
Oprah: Name one
Palin: There you go with your "gotcha journalism." (laughs). Actually, Bristol and I really liked the Twilight series.
Oprah: Well, Levi does remind me more and more of a Vampire every day.
Palin: Yes, but I really liked that in Twilight he couldn't touch her (laughs).
Oprah: How about the classics? We did Anna Karenina by the Russian writer Leo Tolstoy earlier in the year. Have you read War and Peace?
Palin: Well, I am interested in national security issues, and of course I know a lot about Russia. After all, I ...
Oprah: I know, I know... You can see it from your house.
Palin: Actually, that was Tina Fey. I was going to say I watched Red Dawn 5 times with Todd.

Tomorrow, Oprah and Sarah discuss "living your best life."



Thursday, November 5, 2009

Protesters Decry Washington Leadership

Washington, DC: The angry mood of the public was on display today as hundreds of sign-wielding protesters marched to decry the failure of leadership in Washington. According to Bob Smeldenburg, an accountant from Centreville, "I think we are really in crisis. They keep telling us things will get better, but they keep getting steadily worse." Mary Nelson, a housewife from suburban Maryland chimed in, "To think how much I hoped for change last fall. I feel like a fool. The whole group, from the top guy and his inner team -- they are in way over their head." A kindly looking grandfather from DC weighed in" "We aren't your typical protesters. But they are destroying something I have been proud of my whole life. You can only take so much. And now they want to imply we are a tiny noisy minority. Well, if they think this week was a wakeup call, wait until you see what happens next week. When they lose to the Falcons and Broncos it could get really ugly." At that they turned and resumed their chant. "We want our Redskins Back! Snyder Must Go!"