Partisan Outburst Interrups Speech

Washington, D.C. -- January 28, 2011

The polarized politics of Washington erupted again yesterday during President Barack Obama’s State of the Union Address, just two years after he promised to change the culture of partisanship in the town. The speech was interrupted suddenly when , during a passage where he implored Republicans to join him on immigration reform, the 6- member Republican delegation from Alabama rose, turned and dropped their trousers. Congressional historians report it was the first incident of intentional "mooning" in the halls of Congress as most other cases of Congressman without their pants have occurred behind closed doors.

Democratic response was swift, if not entirely to the liking of the President. While New York Sen. Chuck Schumer climbed over seats to put a headlock on Alabama Sen. Richard Shelby, White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emmanuel grabbed the microphone and, gesturing to Republicans, shouted, “Do you want to go? Do you WANT TO GO?!! Bring it on, you pussies. I will fuck you up!" The speech was further interrupted 10 minutes later by the sound of explosions, which turned out to be mortar fire landing in the Capitol Reflecting Pool. Those responsible, members of the "Tea Party" movement led by former Congressman Dick Armey, proclaimed they were simply expressing their Second Amendment rights to launch heavy ordnance in public spaces, but fellow Republican Sen. John McCain called the incident "highly inappropriate" in an interview later on Larry King. In the morning aftermath, both sides were claiming political advantage from the fracas. Alabama Republicans reported they had raised $38.7 million dollars in the 24 hours following the incident from the coalition of conservative groups known as "Kill the Commie Faggots". Several of their Democratic opponents claimed that they had raised an even greater amount through an on-line effort coordinated by the left-leaning group "Don't Forget How Much Bush Sucked" .

Proponents of bipartisanship expressed dismay over a trend of increasing rancor which they trace back to an event in September 2009 when South Carolina Republican Congressman Joe Wilson interrupted Obama's health care address by shouting "You lie!" Despite Wilson's quick apology for the outburst, six months later Georgia Congressman Sonny "Buddy" Johnson, Jr. interrupted the 2010 State of the Union, shouting “Bite Me!” in response to Obama's offer to join Republicans to combat teen pregnancy. Delaware Rep. Mike Castle, the sole remaining Republican moderate, decried the change. "I don't think this kind of behavior is good for the country. Why, when I first arrived in Congress, I wouldn't have dreamed of having to have an armed security detail going between my office and the House floor. But between the "Club for Growth" and "MoveOn.org" I have already lost two Chiefs of Staff to small arms fire."