McCain Camp Baffled At Youth Vote

McCain campaign insiders are still struggling to explain their inability to connect with younger voters, who went overwhelmingly for Barack Obama. Director of youth outreach, Horace Schlemekennburg, noted, “We tried a variety of proven strategies for reaching these younger voters – we faxed them, left messages on answering machines, even sent out cassettes and videotapes with messages from the candidate. We organized a series of college sock hops – “Sock it to Greed and Corruption because I’m Hopping Mad” – to encourage new voters.” None of these, however, seemed to make a dent in Obama’s popularity in voters aged 18-29. “We realize the media rules are changing,” said campaign manager Steve Schmidt. “We reached out to stars who we knew “were down” with these younger voters – Donny Osmond, Chuck Norris, Ted Nugent. We made special ad buys on “Survivor”. Why, we even created a My Face page for the campaign.” The failure of the campaign to communicate in the language of the young voter , however, blunted their message. “When they claimed Obama was a socialist” said Megan O’Rourke, a first-time voter, “that just rang kind of false. Obama doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who likes to party.” Similarly, attempts to link him to the Weather Underground were misinterpreted as a reference to a 70’s smooth-jazz band. In the end, the McCain campaign remained downhearted and mystified. “Jeesh – what is it with kids these days?” shrugged Schlemekennburg.